Hep C Discussion Forum

**Posts:** 127

RE: a rant . . .

**Posts:** 1273

Hi Scott,

I was withdrawn, agoraphobic and downright miserable on tx, but found great comfort communicating with others online

I didn't use Anti D's, tried them once and had a pretty bad mental and physical reaction to them, so decided they weren't for me.

Nothing wrong with having a good rant now and again - still do, but can't blame tx now! Lol

Steff xx

**Posts:** 717

Hey Scott,
No apology is necessary- the drugs you are on are not fun at all- they do make things or our perceptions of things very uh, crappy- so to speak.

Whining or complaining is expected, if you didn't whine about it, I think a number of us would be wondering what was wrong with you!

Keep your chin up and don't be worried about griping about how you feel at this time. Heck, I STILL whine on occasion.

**Posts:** 1098

Hi Scott,

I had mood swings, a few rages, etc.. but didn't want to use anti-depressants either - they are NOT for everyone.

Take the advice of your Doc would be my suggestion, check for patterns, look at ways of alleviating stress in other forms.

My wife gave me a few kicks up the backside when I got irrational - she reminded me of who I was, who I always was, and how out of character I was being - this always brought me back to normality.

It's what works for you bro - you know yourself better than anyone,

hang in there.

B cool,

Lau

**Posts:** 36

Hey Moocow. Thanks. smile

I apologise for my irrational whining. It really isn't like me. I was just having a bad couple of nights. Not enough sleep combined with a head full of interferon turns out to be a bad combination. . . .

Anyway, as long as my body hangs togther well enough for me to do things other than go to work I'm fine. So far it is.

**Posts:** 717

Scott, if you truly don't want to use antidepressants to alleviate the symptoms you are experiencing mentally/emotionally, that is a personal choice- just please be aware that antidepressant use during tx is very common and patients with elevated moods (iow, either preparing with antidepressants or being put on them during tx) does show a higher success rate with clearance.

Also, it appears that you like to be out in the sun, etc- the ribavirin will make you much more photosensitive- do use sunscreen if you have some. I used a lot of it, still ended up with a full blown skin cancer a few months after I finished tx.

Just want to keep you informed of these "risks".

**Posts:** 36

Thanks Moocow. I'm ok. I honestly don't think I need any more drugs. I have been struggling with the emotional side effects, but I don't think drugs is the answer. Physically, my body seems to be hanging together reasonably well. There's a few aches, and I'm certainly nowhere near as strong or energetic as I could be, but I'm functioning well enough to be able to still get out and do things. I spent last weekend out climbing, getting sunburnt and sleeping in the dirt, and it was fantastic. Not being as strong actually seems to have forced me to improve my technique, and I got up some things onsight that I probably would have fallen off before I started the treatment, when I was physically stronger than I am now. I don't feel depressed when I'm living. I've discovered that sending myself up a cliff is a great way to shrug off the brain fog. There's nothing quite like needing to work out how not to fall for crystalising your thought processes. . . What makes me depressed is the sense of being chained by the treatment to a crap job that bores me (sometimes literally these days) to tears.

So . . . my solution, rather than drugs, is less working, more living, and spending the nights when I'm not sleeping writing applications for postdoctoral positions so that I can find a job to look forward to next year when this is all over.

**Posts:** 717

Hi Scott- sounds as though you might need some antidepressants to help you continue to cope with the side effects. Brain fog is a common side, antidepressants won't help with that, but they will elevate your mood a bit and you might find that helpful.

Your comments do sound as though you are dealing with the depressive side effects that interferon gives us and yes, the brain fog is frustrating- I'm 2 years post and still have issues with memory and recall of specific words, etc.

It does get better after treatment, but for now, I would seriously give some thought about getting some support meds.

And, it's good to hear you are SVR, too!

**Posts:** 36

After reading Nothingtolose's post I realised It'll be 32 weeks down for me this friday too.

I should be feeling positive, since I'm on the home stretch now and my last PCR test didn't detect any virus, but really I just want it to be over so I can have my life back again. I guess I have been travelling ok. I certainly can't complain too much as what I have had to put up with so far has been pretty mild compared to the stories I have read from many others. I still want to complain though . . . The worst thing is the brain fog. I can tolerate physical pain and discomfort, but not being able to think properly is really frustrating. Feeling sad and sorry for myself is also pretty uncharacteristic of me, but I seem to do a lot of it lately. When I try to think about it objectively it seems like all the reasons I feel depressed are either directly related to the side effects of treatment, or have something to do with feeling like treatment is holding me back from getting on with my life. Then I realise that that makes no sense and I'm not thinking objectively after all, but it doesn't make me feel any better. I decided to stay in my stupid boring job that makes me miserable for the duration of the treatment because I didn't know if I would be able to handle anything more challenging (or the move to a different city that it would almost certainly involve) while on the drugs. Sometimes after a day of feeling tired and retarded all day at work I think I made the right decision. Other days I resent having to put my life on hold for this. I know, I know, I'm doing it so I can continue to live a long life for many years to come. . . etc etc

The physical stuff is all tolerable, but it just exacerbates the emotional side of things. Having to drag my sorry arse to work in the morning with an aching back and that feeling like someone is pressing their thumbs against that backs of your eyes doesn't help. And what the hell is this rash that keeps appearing on my legs? And why did old niggling injuries from months before I started treatment come back with a vengenace a few weeks in?

Ok, enough of this. . . I feel a bit better now. My apologies to all those who have had it way worse than me. I know there are people here who have almost been killed by the treatment. I'm nowhere near there, and I have no intention of quitting before the end.